Tokki and fur brush

So we already know that my female master sometimes does have some really stupid ideas but the thing that she did yesterday is beyond belief. It is so cold outside and yet she comes home, covered in ice, with joyful news: „Loooook what I bought for you, Tokki”. Then she started waving with something sealed in plastic and from my point of view it looked just like the old “gift” I got from the Tooth fairy. So naturally I wasn’t rushing to get the “gift” again and kept my distance. I wasn’t happy about it at all.

Just as I expected, it didn’t smell nice at all and it was all weird and green. Having learned from my previous mistake I completely ignored it and went back to living room. I was hoping that she will forget about that when I show her the destruction of my plastic bottle. But noooo, she went after me and immediately began the talk about a wonderful item she got for me and how happy she is about it. I began to bite the bottle harder and even started stepping on it. I was hoping she will get the message that I’m not listening to her at all.

Well she didn’t. She unwrapped the strange thing from the plastic package and pulled me “to the light”. Then she took the metal end and started combing my magnificent coat. At the start I was a little cramped because I didn’t know what to expect. I was prepared for pain, blood or threatening wound any time. But nothing happened, just scratching. So I let her continue. After I stopped being so stiff it felt great. I mean I just love good scratching but this was so damn pleasant I felt asleep. The green thing could kept doing whatever it was doing, I felt just like in spa.

When she stopped (she has no stamina) I opened my ayes and I almost got a stroke. There was my fur, everywhere around us. My precious warm fur was here and there! I couldn’t believe my eyes. She just destroyed my fur, but my female master was just smiling and noted it “brushes” so well. I’ll show you “brushing”, damn you. I just wanted to bite her just like the bottle. But I was too shocked to even do that and so I just watched in disbelief. My last desperate act was to try and roll around in my removed fur (hoping it will stuck back on me). Unfortunately I just got scolded for it and my master used the Lint roller from IKEA on me as a bonus.

So now when it is about -2584 °C outside and my female master just destroyed my fur, I’ll freeze to death. Just so I don’t drop my fur in our house. Ye like I give f@&k, stop being so hysterical about few drops. I mean her hairs are like everywhere anyways and I’m the one who get them stuck onto my favorite toys. And do I complain? No! And do I come to her and tear her hair with the green abomination? No! But tonight, the revenge will be mine – I’ll trample her long ponytail when she goes sleep. Then I’ll lie down on it and tangle my paws into it. I know it hurts her and she is yelling like mad when I do that. And she even has to call my male master to save her, else she would get scalped.

But if he tries to save her this time again, I’ll step on his head too. None will be making Tokki naked.