People are really dumb.
In the morning I was outside for small pee pee and I have to wade through the tall grass like an Indiana Jones (Dear @praha10, could you please cut down the grass in the dog park?). I finally find the concrete path with huge amount of pollen on my face. I snort to all directions and I get the feeling like I’m the Kate Moss (snort snort – you get it). Then out of nowhere, old lady appears.
Even from the distance, she hisses like I’m reta*ded. Obviously I got offended and I turned the other way. She didn’t get the message and turned her huge ship (I mean ass) directly to us. I sped up a bit, but so did she. Mighty Paw help me, she is closing in. Female master obviously didn’t notice I’m in danger because she refused to run. Great, the old lady is next to me now and starts spilling nonsense: Look how cute he is (we know), look how small he is (like what?) look how well he walks (well I can show you how well I walk on the way from you). I twitch the life-line like crazy, I want to get away, but female master is patiently replying to her answers (just now you don’t pull me away like you usually do).
The lady still hisses, it’s getting on my nerves, I’m so done… I’ll just watch other people running to catch the bus. Someone was too slow and missed the bus and the driver won’t open the doors (haháá), I’m looking at the pigeons, I found a stick, I’m chewing the stick… Then I hear it…
,,Does he craps at home, since he is so small?”
What? I’m letting my stick go and sit down. What a witch… First of all I’m not small, secondly can you keep the intimate questions for yourself? Of course I sh*t outside, I’m not a wild animal. Master! Don’t answer her. Thank the Paw, female master told her what I thought, that I take dump outside since I’m so smart. So I’m smart, now I want to go home before the crone spills another stupid question.
,,And is it true they fart a lot?”
I don’t believe my ears, is she really asking my master about my bowel movement? It is 10 a.m. and I have to listen to some random witch about my farts. That’s enough, master, home, now! I look at her and see how surprised she is hearing the fart question. After few seconds she wakes up and tells her: ,,Just like other dogs, I don’t know.”
Great, you told her. Do you get that? I don’t walk around, asking people about their crap/fart methods (I know they take brownies at home, I even know the exact location). We don’t talk about this with my fellow dog friends. It is disgusting. She should learn some discretion from us. On the way home, my female master says: ,,Should I told her you smell so hard, opening windows won’t help?” That is only true in 1 out of 10 cases, and even then I think sometimes it is my masters farts what I smell. I just get the blame for it. I still don’t have any proof but when I get one…
